A Heart to Heart
by killrwhale
Summary: After a pathetic call-out on Twitter and a good heart to heart with his parents, Eli sets to making things right with Clare.  Set after Umbrella Pt 1.
1. Chapter 1

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**Based on Umbrella Pt 1 and the heartbreaking Eclare Tweets that occurred Saturday night. With that spawn this story.**

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**I don't own Degrassi or anything Degrassi related.**

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So there I was, 9pm on a Saturday night, begging my girlfriend to call me back over fucking _Twitter_. Pathetic? Yes. But I was nearing the edge of desperate. I fucked up, I know I did. I shouldn't have let her just leave like that. What can I say, I was scared, terrified. Sure, I may not be a virgin, but that doesn't mean the thought of taking Clare's virginity doesn't petrify me. I respect her way too much to let her throw herself at me. That's why I let her leave, with me immediately regretting it of course. And the girl is just too stubborn for her own good. Every time I called her phone, she'd send me to voicemail. I tried sending her IM messages but they kept bouncing back, obviously she had blocked me. I get that she was mad, probably really hurt, but I need to explain everything to her. So I reached a new level of desperation and tried reaching out to her on the public forum known as Twitter, knowing that every one of our friends and acquaintances would see my pathetic little call-out. I could just see Adam rolling his eyes and shaking his head when he reads what I wrote.

With a click of a button, the message would appear on everyone's Twitter homepage, and I walked slowly downstairs, where my parents were cuddled up on the couch watching Saw II. I sat down next to them and tried to get into the movie but I just wasn't feeling it. I sighed audibly.

"What's up, Kid?" my dad asked me. I shook my head, afraid that if I said anything, I would lose control of my emotions. My parents were cool, don't get me wrong, but I wasn't really in the habit of talking to them about serious issues or anything. My mom and I had a long heart-to-heart shortly after Julia died but that was about it. "Clare seems nice. Cute too." Without looking at him, I could tell he was smiling.

"Yeah, she's great," I muttered.

"Uh-oh, trouble in paradise?" my mom asked. "What's the matter, she seems like she really likes you, and I know you really like her."

"I do. She does. At least, I think she does." With further prodding from my parents, I continued. "It's just, we're so different. Complete opposites. I just don't know how it'll work."

"Opposites attract," my dad stated.

_Opposites may attract, but in the end, our differences will always tear us apart._ The words Clare wrote tonight immediately flashed before my eyes.

"Yeah but do they stay together?" I asked. "I used to think we were so compatible, that we just fit, but now I'm not so sure. She's like a ray of sunshine, and I'm as dark as the night. She's so wonderful and kind and _good_, I just seem to get in trouble wherever I go. She's a ... virgin. Me, not so much." I said that last part quietly but loud enough for them to hear.

My dad's eyes went wide and his mouth formed an "o". My mom spoke for him, "Oh Eli, we didn't know! We just figured that you guys had been ... intimate. Is that what started all of this? Did we scare her off?"

"Kinda. She was a little freaked out at the restaurant yesterday."

"So that's why she left in such a hurry," my dad said quietly, shaking his head. I could tell he felt bad about the whole situation.

"It's not just that," I continued. "She came over here this afternoon. She, uh, wanted to spend the night with me."

"Ahh, well there ya go Champ!" my dad laughed as he slapped my leg.

"No Dad, just, no. I told her no." My parents looked confused. "She's not ready, I know she's not. Her parents are going through a tough time and she's feeling confused and vulnerable. I just couldn't let her go through with it, and I was afraid that if I let her in, I would let myself get too carried away to stop it. After I said no, she got upset and took off on her bike. She's hurt and probably feeling rejected and now she won't talk to me."

They both nodded in understanding and after a little bit of silence, my mom spoke up, probably realize how familiar that scene played out. "She got home okay?"

"Yes, she's been online since. But she keeps sending me to voicemail when I try to call her and she won't return any of my messages. She's pretty pissed."

"You fucked up, Eli," my dad said, as blunt as can be. All I could do was nod in agreement. "You gotta get her to talk to you, Kiddo. You gotta say everything you just said to us. Do you love her?" I nodded. I hadn't told her yet, not in so many words anyway, but it was true. "Do whatever you can so you don't lose her."

"I don't think we can see you go through another heartbreak like last time, Eli," my mom said softly. I nodded and walked out of the room. I knew what I had to do.

I picked up the phone and instead of dialing Clare's cell phone like I had been, I called a different number. After a couple rings, a female voice picked up.

"Hello, Mrs. Edwards? It's Eli."

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**Thinking of continuing this into 2 or 3 chapters.**


	2. Chapter 2

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**Ugh, I can't keep reading their Tweets, it's depressing. Anyway, t****hank you to everyone who read and reviewed my story! I really appreciate it! I hope you enjoy this chapter**

**So this part is in Clare's POV. It takes place a little bit before Eli's chapter, right after she left his house. It may be confusing but I felt that Eli's part had to be written first.**

****I don't own Degrassi, blah blah blah.

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**Clare's POV**

Rejected. That was how I felt in that moment. I thought I knew the pain all too well, after KC left me for Jenna. But this was different, this was so much worse. When I was crying in Eli's arms earlier, telling him I was losing everything, he promised me he wasn't going anywhere. And here he is pushing me away. I waited until I was out of his eyesight before I finally let the tears fall. I walked my bike the whole way home, not trusting myself to be able to ride and see through the tears.

When I got home, I walked inside trying not to bring attention to myself. The last thing I needed was my mother breathing down my neck. She was in the same place as she was when I left, going through yet another box of our lifetime of memories. She asked me to come back and sift through more of our crap. Crap, that's all it is. It's not like any of it really matters. Everything that does matter to me is currently crumbling all around me. My parents are getting a divorced, we're selling our house and moving God knows where, my best friend is at a school across town, and my boyfriend doesn't want anything to do with me. In answer to my mom, I just shook my head and continued upstairs to my room.

Rejected. It's a really sucky feeling. I thought Eli really cared for me, I thought he even could've possibly loved me. But in that one moment when he pushed my hands off him, I realized how untrue that was. Maybe I'm not good enough, not pretty enough, for him to want to be with me. I'm not _her_. I know I shouldn't be jealous of her, she's dead after all. She'll never get to touch him again, talk to him again. But she had him first. All of him. And I feel like I'll never ever live up to her, I'll be forever in her shadow.

I laid down in bed in a fit of tears and finally just let it all out, all the stress of everything pouring out of me through my tears. After who knows how long, I finally got up and went on the computer. I saw what he wrote: _Please TrueClare can we talk? Call me!_. I sighed and typed something back in semi-reply: _Opposites may attract, but in the end, our differences will always tear us apart._ Yeah so we were airing our dirty laundry in public but for some reason I felt better. He had been constantly calling me since I left, every 18 minutes on the dot. Each and every time I sent him directly to my voicemail. I probably could've just turned my phone off but I felt a sick sense of satisfaction every time I ignored his call. Plus I was kind of curious to see how long he'd keep this up. After awhile he stopped calling, I guess he finally gave up on me, like everything else I know.

Before I could start crying again, I heard a light tapping on the door. It was my mom. When she saw I had been obviously crying, she came rushing over to me. "Oh Clare, I'm so sorry honey. But selling the house is something we have to do. I can't stay here, it hurts too much."

"I'm not crying because of that, Mom. It's..." Did I want to tell her? I sighed. "Eli."

"Oh." I could hear the venom in her voice. I guess I can't really blame her, I didn't really paint him in the best light the night he came over for dinner. My fault, really, and my mom isn't really known for letting go of first impressions. "What did he do to you?"

"Nothing." Precisely. He hasn't done anything. "Mom?" She looked at me, letting me know to continue. "Now that you and Dad are getting divorced, do you regret anything?"

"Like what, honey?"

"Like..." Ugh, was I really about to have this conversation with my mother? I quickly weighed my options. My best-friend who has vanished off the face of the earth who is currently swearing off boys and attending an all-girls school. My sister who has vanished off the face of the earth who is building a school in Kenya. My boyfriend who wants nothing to do with me. "...Like waiting until you guys had gotten married?"

"Clare." My mom took my hand and wrapped her fingers around my purity ring, the cold metal instantly searing my skin. "If that boy is pressuring you in any way."

"No Mom! It's not like that! But you always taught us that premarital sex is wrong, that divorce is wrong. But then you go and get divorced. And what's the point of waiting until marriage if that marriage is just going to crumble anyway."

"Not every marriage ends like this." I could see her struggle to keep the tears in.

"No, just about, oh, 50%. I don't really like those odds."

My mom asked again where this is coming from and if Eli is pressuring me in any way. With a reluctant sigh, I told my mom the story. The whole story. Everything. I told her about the day we met (_You have really pretty eyes_), the day we kissed (_Romeo, you drank the poisonous high-fructose cola beverage, no!_), the day we started dating (_Twist my rubber arm, girlfriend_). I told her about Julia (_This is where I killed my girlfriend_), Fitz (_I'm in his head, right where I want to be_) and Vegas Night (_Whatever he does to you, you deserve it!_). I then appologized for the night Eli came for dinner, for making it so horrible and awkward for everyone involved. I told my mom how nice he is and how much he cares for me and how he's been there for me when I felt like I had no one. I then told her about Ce-Ce and Bullfrog and their proposition to me and what started my crisis of faith, and how Eli turned me away this afternoon.

After getting that all off my chest, and I admit it did feel good, my mom was quiet for quite awhile before she finally spoke. "Clare, honey, I don't want you to rush out and have sex this very moment. But it sounds like you really love Eli and I can't stop you from doing something you want to do. But I want you to be prepared. I'll make an appointment with the doctor to get you on birth control." I was surprised, to say the least. "I just want you to be safe, and more than anything, I want you to be ready. Right now, you're not ready and you know it." I started fiddling with that damn purity ring again, something I do when I'm nervous. "I'm glad you told me all of this though. I thought Eli was just some boy you wanted to bring by the house to make your father and I angry. I didn't realize how much he cares for you. He respects you Clare, can't you see that? That's why he pushed you away today. And for that, he's definitely earned my respect. Have you talked to him since this afternoon?"

I shook my head. "No, I've sorta been avoiding his calls."

"Honey, you need to call him. You need to talk things out with him. While I may not be the best person to be giving out love advice, the one thing I can say is that you need to keep the lines of communication open. That boy cares for you. He didn't turn you away because he doesn't want you, he turned you away because he loves you and doesn't want to do anything you'll regret."

I nodded. I needed someone to tell me that. The phone rang at that moment and my mom headed out of my room to answer it, though before doing so she quickly turned back and thanked me for the conversation. I smiled. I think I should be the one thanking her. As she went to answer the phone, I picked up my cell phone and dialed Eli's cell. After ringing over and over again, I was sent to voicemail. I sighed. Maybe he really did give up on me.

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**Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it! I'm thinking one more chapter.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Again, thank you so much for all the reviews. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. Anyway, here is the 3rd and final installment.**

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**(nothing's changed, I still don't own Degrassi)**

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Eli's POV

My palms started sweating when I realized it was Clare's mom that answered the phone. I shouldn't have been surprised I guess.

"Hello, Mrs. Edwards? It's Eli."

I half-expected her to hang up the phone right away. I knew that Clare's parents weren't exactly fond of me (might have something to do with the fact that Clare told them we skip class together, my dad's a shock jock on the station her dad hates, I drive a hearse, and I'm an atheist). I definitely was not expecting what happened next. Her mom actually sounded _happy_ to hear from me. "Eli, hi! How are you? Are you calling to talk to Clare?" Wow.

I didn't really know how to answer so I mumbled, "Uhh yeah, I'd like to talk to Clare if I could."

Mrs. Edwards put the phone down and started calling for Clare. After a few attempts, I heard her footsteps walk away from the phone. I heard low voices in the background and then she came back. "Eli, Clare doesn't really want to talk on the phone right now." I figured as much. "But listen, why don't you come over and talk to her? This way she can't hang up on you." What? Seriously, was Mrs. Edwards drunk or something?

"Umm okay. I know it's kind of late, but should I come over now?"

She said yes so I quickly got off the phone and made myself presentable. I told my parents where I was going and they wished me luck as I grabbed my car keys and made my way over to Morty. On the short drive to Clare's house, I couldn't stop my brain from thinking and wondering. What was I going to say to Clare? Was she still mad at me? (stupid question, of course she was) What the fuck was wrong with Clare's mom?

I pulled Morty up to the curb and slowly got out of the car. It still surprises me how nervous that girl makes me feel. I really honestly never thought I'd feel those butterflies in my stomach again after Julia had died.

Before I could knock, the door flung open and Mrs. Edwards pulled me inside. In a hushed voice, she told me that Clare was upstairs and didn't know I was coming over. I couldn't take it anymore; I had to know what has gotten over her. Last time I saw her, she was shooting daggers at me with her eyes as I thanked her for a lovely meal.

"Mrs. Edwards? Please forgive me if I'm coming across a little blunt, but uhh, why are you being so nice to me?"

She laughed and told me that Clare told her everything, and I mean _everything_. I thought that would make her hate me anymore. Not only was I a class-skipping, hearse-driving atheist, I'm also not a virgin whose parents are "trying to get a girl in my bed" (my dad's words, seriously). "Eli, the way you've been there for Clare through everything that's been going on here speaks volumes. Then the way you handled the situation this afternoon when Clare was obviously not being herself just shows how much you care for my daughter. I judged you too quickly. You're a great guy, Eli, a great guy for Clare. She's really hurting right now though, she thinks you rejected her. You need to talk to her." I nodded. "She's in her room if you'd like to go on up." I started to head up to Clare's room when she stopped me. "Oh and Eli? Keep the door opened."

I chuckled and made my way up to Clare's room. Before going in, I could hear soft sobbing while some Taylor Swift song was playing in the background. It broke my heart knowing that I was the one making her cry. I lightly tapped on the door. She stopped crying but didn't answer. I knocked again, louder this time. I heard movement and from behind the door, she spoke. "Mom, now's really not a good time."

I put my forehead on the door and sighed. "Clare it's me."

"Eli?" She sounded surprised.

I nodded, which was pointless since she couldn't see me. "Could you let me in, I'd really like to talk to you."

After what seemed like forever, the door finally opened, revealing my girlfriend, her hair all dishevelled and her eyes puffy and bloodshot. Yet, despite that, the only thing I could think of to say was, "You're beautiful."

She huffed. "What do you want, Eli?"

She sat down at the edge of the bed and I sat down beside her, making sure to keep my distance.

"I tried calling you. I tried contacting you online. I really need to talk about what happened this afternoon."

"Yeah, I know you tried calling me. And then you stopped. Then when I tried calling you, you just completely ignored me back."

I was confused. When did Clare call me? "You tried calling me?" I reached into my pocket for my phone, before realizing that I'd left it in my room when I went to talk to my parents. "Shoot, I haven't had it with me all evening. I'm sorry Clare, I would've definitely answered had I known!"

Clare glanced at the clock and gasped. "Eli, it's almost 11:30! Does my mom know you're here?"

I said how it was her idea, that she thought it would be best if we talked in person.

"What happened today?" we both asked at the same time.

Clare sighed and I saw her fighting back tears once again. "You hurt me today, Eli." I nodded. "I practically threw myself at you and you did nothing but reject me. I feel like I'll never be good enough for you. I'll never be as good as her."

"Oh Clare. You have to know that Julia has nothing to do with this! She is in my past. When we were together, it was before you and I had even met. Yes, I was hurting for a very long time after she left, and while a part of me will always love her, you have to know that I really am over her. She's in my past and you're my present and more importantly, my future. I turned you away because I don't want to compromise your beliefs. We may not share the same values but that doesn't mean I don't respect them. You haven't been yourself the past little while Clare, and if we had done what you were suggesting, I never would've been able to live with myself. Even if you wouldn't regret it, I would've. You want to wait until marriage, and I'm not going to be the one to take that away from you."

"I don't want to wait until marriage." Did she seriously just say that?

"What?"

She repeated herself. "I don't want to wait until marriage. My mom is taking me to the doctor to get birth control. Honestly, after everything that's happened with my parents, I don't know if I truly believe in the entity of marriage. But I do know that I want my first time to be with someone I love, and that I may not be quite ready, yet. But when I am, I want my first time to be with you."

Wow. "Clare, I..." I truly didn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry I overreacted. I was just hurt and confused."

"It's okay, it happens." I wrapped my arms around her in a hug. I breathed in her familiar scent and felt my heart do a little jump, again with the butterflies! This girl is really going to be the death of me.

"I don't want to take her place in your bed." She said it quietly but I heard exactly what she said.

"You won't." I lifted her chin up so she was looking in my eyes. "I love you, Clare." Though it may not have been the first time I thought it, it was the first time I'd said those words out loud.

She quickly inhaled and I nearly regretted what I said. Maybe it was too much, too soon. Once she regained composure, she smiled the biggest brightest smile. "I love you too, Eli."

She crushed her lips to mine and I swear my heart exploded.

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**Hope you enjoyed it! Who's excited for tomorrow night's episode?**


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